


Thinking is always a dangerous pastime.

by Fengarilux



Category: Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan
Genre: Adventure, Angst and Humor, Anxiety/Stress, Gen, Male Friendship, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Ranger's apprentice - Freeform, Sarcasm, Spoilers, Swearing, a little depressing, stressed Will
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 14:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fengarilux/pseuds/Fengarilux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a short story based on Will's insecurities.<br/>Will struggles with anxiety because he doesn't want to dissapoint anyone. He hides his feelings and makes up excuses when he feels a panic/anxiety attack coming up so he can hide somewere until he feels okay again.<br/>Also. Will, Halt and Horace are on an adventure/mission.<br/>I think I'm going to make  this a multiple chapter thing, but I'm not sure.<br/>This is set roughly in the time between book 10 and 12.</p><p> </p><p>Ranger's Apprentice belongs to John Flangan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking is always a dangerous pastime.

**Author's Note:**

> tw: Anxiety and a little hint towards suicide/suicidal thoughts.
> 
> HAVE FUN READING :D
> 
> This is the first (serious) fanfic I have ever written
> 
> Please correct any grammar/spelling mistakes I make, English is not my first language. (I want to learn) & tell me how to improve my writing! ( I don't care if it's a bit harsh as long as it's constructive criticism)
> 
> Second chapter wil come some day, maybe.

Will hated it.

Whenever there was a problem, people expected him to make it all better. Suddenly they were all looking at him, eyes wide in anticipation. They looked up at him, like a loyal dog looks up at his owner. Completely trusting that he’ll fix it all.

 

There were more experienced people out there. They could ask a strong warrior like Horace to hunt down that pesky thief that has been harassing people for a week now. They could ask a smart ranger like Gilan to catch a spy that’s been trying to gather information at Redmont. Heck, why didn’t they just send Halt on all of the important missions, Halt was the best ranger out there after all. That way Will could just patrol around, havin less risk of fucking something up. 

 

It’s not that Will doesn’t want to work. It’s not that Will hates his job. It’s not that Will is jealous.

He’s just tired.

 

Whenever Will feels like this, he remembers the first time he met a wargal. He freaked out, tried to shoot it and missed it three times. Halt had calmed him down and told him it was alright. But in Will’s mind it still wasn’t alright. What if it happened again?

 

It did happen again. And again.

The stress he always felt when he did something in front of anyone, particularly Halt, slowly build up and caused him to freak out and break down. Just a sudden sinking feeling, a sudden realization the world was on fire and all Will could do was watch everyone die. His knees suddenly became weak, his hands started to tremble and -shit- he was crying again.

Luckily for Will he usually had breakdowns when he was alone. Sitting on the ground, leaning against a tree, Tug’s sturdy legs or the wall of his house, hoping nobody would find him. At those moments he just wanted to jump off of a cliff and disappear.

 

Why did they all trust him so much? He’s just Will. He was very sure that if they ever saw him like this, or knew how much of a struggle it was for him to even choose what to eat for breakfast, they would never trust him. They’d know better than asking him for advice, they’d know better than letting him make an important decision. Right? They’d go to a responsible, brave and sensible ranger like Halt, Crowley or Gilan.

 

Will was suddenly pulled from his thoughts when he heard a tree branch break near him. He quickly tried to dry his eyes.

 

“Shit, why did I choose a place this close to the camp to have my stupid mental breakdown?” He muttered to himself. He looked around to see what caused the tree branch to break. He saw Halt, clearly searching for him. He sat still as a rock, hoping Halt didn’t see him. “Ugh, I look pathetic. Great. My old mentor is going to be very proud when he sees me like this." He muttered to himself again. Suddenly someone yelled Halt’s name. Halt looked up, the voice asked Halt to hurry up. Halt yelled: ”Will, hurry up! We have to go!” And then he whispered:” I can see you there, I was waiting for you to come to me. I heard you crying, we can talk about it later if you want.” And he ran off.

 

Will smiled a little and finished drying his eyes. Off course his mentor had figured out what was going on. It was Halt after all. Will jumped up and quickly checked if he looked okay enough to go back to camp.

 

While he ran back to camp he thought: “ Halt has seen me at my worst. He has seen me fail. But he still believes in me. That means something, right? One of the best rangers of Araluen believes in me. Maybe I’m not that bad of a person after all.” And as he reached the camp he heard Halt yell at him again: “ Damn Will, you run like an old lady! Hurry up!” He finished packing his stuff, and climbed on Tug's back. Horace chuckled  :"Halt may say you run like an old lady, but you pack your stuff twice as fast as he does." And while Halt raised his eyebrow, they left the camp, Horace and WIll laughing.

  



End file.
